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Thursday, June 18th, 2009
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1:17 am - Yes, I went there.
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I really shouldn't have but I did. Damn, it still makes me kind of numb. Oh, it's PMS. **Never Mind**.
current mood:  cynical
current music: none
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, January 5th, 2009
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6:46 pm - protein balls...with flaxseed, these are really really good!
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As Seen On TV's "What's Cooking"
Protein Balls
These small bits of energy are delicious, addicting and good for you!
* 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
* 3/4 cup nonfat milk powder
* 1/2 cup ground flaxseed
* 1/2 cup honey
* 1/2 cup crushed cereal, such as Honey Bunches of Oats
One or two of the following:
1. 1/3 cup raisins
2. 1/3 cup Craisins
3. 1/3 cup sunflower nuts
4. 1/3 cup chocolate chips
5. 1/3 cup walnuts
1. Combine peanut butter, milk powder, flaxseed, honey in a bowl and mix well. Stir in sunflower nuts and Craisins.
2. Roll mixture in small bowls and then roll balls in crushed cereal. Place on waxed paper.
3. Chill in the refrigerator for at least 1 hour before serving.
Preparation time: 15 minutes
Chill time: 1 hour
Yield: 16 balls
current music: Lynyrd Skynyrd on Pandora radio
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| Saturday, July 26th, 2008
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10:55 pm - If I had it all again, I'd change it all...(what a great line)
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would you? Feel free to comment.
current mood:  pensive
current music: Bush
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, September 29th, 2007
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2:13 am - I'm not done with this...
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Wow. I'm feeling completely dejected right now. I've never had a clue of what I wanted to do with my life, so I've ended up nowhere. I guess I've just always wanted out but I have to finish a prison sentence. Escape is possible but without reward. Rehabilitation while incarcerated is doubtful, therefore, again, without reward.
I'm tired of the fighting. The external but especially the internal.
Am I too old to start anew? And I still don't know what the fuck I want. I wanna go home, but where is home? Wherever I am at, I always want to go home.
current mood:  crushed
current music: Moby
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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1:45 am - Rue Lamour
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Rue...to feel penitence, remorse, or regret for
L'amour...love
It's never my intent but I always disappoint.
current mood: pensive
current music: someone else's myspace page
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, September 28th, 2007
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12:45 am - a fine line (originally written 8/28/07)
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Have you ever danced at the edge of madness? Where reality and delusions are one in the same? You understand but don't know why or know why but don't understand how. Things can be felt that can't be seen. Not always evil things but a presence is definitely felt. The voices swarming in your head, you worry that they'll escape, cause damage to something or someone. Oh the voices! Love for the things you hate, self-pity, self-loathing, compassion for the world, concern for others, hatred of evil things, hatred of those better than you, hate, love, jealousy, anger, sadness, mirth, euphoria, the highs and the lows of EVERYTHING!! You don't know where you're going, so it's likely you won't end of anywhere new. How can you be expected to think for yourself when all the internal stimuli won't even let you keep one thought to yourself? Are there any original thoughts out there or is the thought process just one giant compost heap being recycled? Others peoples garbage discarded only to be mixed spread out and regarded as useful? The madness that awaits you,take your time, breathe it in, enjoy, it will be painful.
current music: LOTR...Fellowship
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
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1:44 pm - This is one of the coolest things I've ever seen!!
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| Thursday, March 29th, 2007
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8:34 pm - it's hard to be depressed when listening to zydeco
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Quixotic. Perfect word for me.
Feeling foolish of late
Never anything new
Learn from my mistakes?
Not lately
Looking for a new perspective
Keep finding the old ones
Tattered, worn and lost
Can't find my way home
current mood:  quixotic
current music: Buckwheat Zydeco
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, February 3rd, 2007
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7:23 pm - Interest piqued
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My love went the way of a tiny crimson flower
Given in vain, stomped on
Dragged across the terrazzo
Dropped in the middle of the room
Left for dead
current music: the sound of the dinner bell
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 8th, 2006
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8:11 pm - modification radicle
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HTML DOG
WooHoo! That worked! I've been playing with html and perl lately and now I know how to add a link to lj. happy dance.
Well, I'm going to go to Ocala tomorrow night and take my TABE test...a girl I work with is going to go to the school for business and she's taking the test tomorrow morning! I still have no idea how I'm gonna go to school for 40 hours a week and pay my bills. Guess I'll have to play the lottery more often...hah! It'll work out, it always seems to.
Yet another journey in my life but then that's what life is. Nothing's permanent, nothing's original. Like the title of a Jane's Addiction cd...Nothing's Shocking. Granted some of the things that happen on this earth are truly sickening and revolting but not shocking or original. oh well, such is life.
Now I need to do something...probably work on my computer. What the hell.
current mood: curious
current music: LOTR disk two of The Two Towers
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| Saturday, November 4th, 2006
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2:38 am - Don't Panic!
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I need to finish 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' and send it to my niece. I borrowed the movie from a friend, the old BBC version and it is just fabulous. I think my niece would like the book.
I worked at both jobs today. The snowbirds are back...and boy are they impatient and rather nasty. Oh well, at least I'm employed, I should be thankful for that. I am.
My mom bought me a water purifier. Yea! I've hooked it up, sure tastes better than tap water.
I lost my yahoo account! I have no idea what happened to it, it's like the password was changed and I didn't change it. I can't remember the answer to my secret question, in fact, that one seemed to be changed too. So my first email account is dead. Now I have to get ahold of everyone and give them a different account. I emailed the yahoo people but they won't budge on giving me anything. They sent a rather nasty letter to me saying that they only require minimal things to retrieve the password and if I forgot it's just tough shit for me. So, I don't think I'll ever get another yahoo address....now I have to call people and give them my change of addie. Hmm...what was on there that I will really miss, certainly not all the spam that I received. I'm glad that I changed my billing from whatever the hell that department store is called now to my gmail account. I think that was the only electronic bill I got. Then there was the book club...but I sent back a book and told them to cancel my subscription. Otherwise, I think that's it.
Egad. It's 2 a.m. I have a headache, I should probably go to bed. Nah.
All the people I used to talk to on irc either no longer talk to me or they are completely offline. There are a couple of people that I would actually keep in touch with...oh well, it's the internet. No value of anything real if it isn't in person. Cyber friends don't really count, sorry if you feel otherwise. Not that it can't become real but you can talk to someone online for hours on end but once you meet them in person they might not be the same person you expected, then you get let down.
I know I should be fully appreciative of having a job but I need to find new work, it seems that I always pick the job where I have to be tied to one place at all times. I'm too frigging hyper for that and I always get in trouble for not being where I'm supposed to be...oops.
The heck with it all...a friend of mine and I have decided to go trekking through various countries. (ok, it's a nice thought)
current mood: frustrated
current music: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 1st, 2006
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9:54 pm - My own little poll..answer anonymously if you like.
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Do you think it's possible to be addicted to a person? Just a question...
current mood:  contemplative
current music: none for some reason
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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4:39 pm - yawn.
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predictable, way too predictable.
Don't let the bastards get you down, yeah, I know the old story, but they still do, in the same old boring and predictable ways. Ya see it coming from a mile back and still happens, they get the best of ya. Then you come to realize that the bastard was yourself. Shit, saw that one coming too.
Life is nothing a prison sentence...i'm looking for a breakout.
I need to look for another job...one that doesn't involve people or machines or electronics or dirt...guess that leaves the only option of 'independently wealthy.' Ok, so that's not gonna happen.
meh. bof. That's just how I feel today. Think I'll look into going back to school. Right now is the time to look for next August. Dammit but for what.
think,think,think....
current mood:  apathetic
current music: none, yet.
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 29th, 2006
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7:35 pm - No Means No...lyrics
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Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You're fucked up
But I am too.
fantastic and from the heart.
current mood:  devious
current music: Johnny Cash
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(comment on this)
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6:59 pm - Wow.
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I've had my lj account for two years...it looks like I haven't written it. I have, most everything is set to private (one entry rivals 'Goodfellas' for the use of the 'f' word). But the two songs that I've posted, I really still feel the same way....ah,the more things change, the more they stay the same. I think I need to change the alien icon, nah.
I'm listening to No Means No. They are incredible.
Went looking for a certain bike trail today, couldn't find it...luckily I only took the dog and not my bike. Guess I'll just have to use the old standbys...I have to get on my bike again, I feel so much better when I do. Forget life, your troubles, the people trying to bring you down, work--just you and the trail. Oh yeah, and trees! Those little bastages can be nasty and tree roots can be worse!
I'm getting bored with life. I need a big switch up, the change of work didn't really cut it, since I'm just doing more of the same--sans decent coffee. Same customer base, same frigging job. Sick of being a cashier for old golfers. Fortunately, I get along with EVERYONE that I work with, which is quite a relief from what I had, my self-esteem has increased quite a bit. Not to say that it doesn't wane and teeter but I'm better off now.
Well, tomorrow is Monday. I have to work at both jobs. Ew. Don't wanna think about it.
Change. I'm really, really bored. Need something new.
Think I'll work on my OS. Figure out what's up with this new kernel that I've compiled. Or I could clean...nah. Off to Slackwareville I go!
Cheers!
current mood: contemplative
current music: No Means No
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6:58 pm - Just me
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I refuse to get a myspace.com addie or site or whatever it is...kinda looks neat to play with but I'd feel like a complete sellout if I got one, cause "eveyone's got one", but that's just me and my little opinion...that's what lj is for right? Posting our little opinions. You can either read or you can go do something else, you are here on your own accord you know.
I keep coming up with story ideas but then they die, any suggestions on how to solve this issue?
That's it for now.
Cheers!
current mood: curious
current music: Izzy Stradlin and the JuJu Hounds
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, March 26th, 2005
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1:35 am - Angry and vulgar...but that's just my mood...
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F.O.D. -- Green Day
Something's on my mind
It's been for quite some time
This time I'm on to you
So where's the other face?
The face I heard before
Your head trip's boring me
Let's nuke the bridge we torched
2,000 times before
This time we'll blast it all to hell
I've had this burning in my guts now
for so long
My belly's aching now to say
Stuck down in a rut of dislogic and smut
A side of you well hid
When it's all said and done
it's real and it's been fun
But was it all REAL fun
Let's nuke the bridge we torched
2,000 times before
This time we'll blast it all to hell
I've felt this burning in my guts now
for so long
My belly's aching now to say
to say...
You're just... a fuck,
I can't explain it 'cause I think you suck.
I'm taking pride-
in telling you to fuck off and die.
I've had this burning in my guts now
for so long
My belly's aching now to say
I'm taking pleasure in the doubts
I've passed to you
So listen up as you bite thisssss...
You're just... a fuck,
I can't explain it 'cause I think you suck.
I'm taking pride
in telling you to fuck off and die.
Goood niiiiiiiiight...
current mood: quixotic
current music: Green Day
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, March 19th, 2005
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9:01 am - spontaneous human combustion
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I've always had a fascination/morbid fear with spontaneous human combustion. I don't know why--some people have a phobia of spiders, mine is of suddenly and inexplicably bursting into flames.
I've never been a big Incubus fan until last week when I listened to the lyrics of the song "Pardon Me". I've heard the song plenty over the years but never really listened....here's the lyrics, I just kind of like the sentiment behind the song.
Pardon me while I burst
Pardon me while I burst
A decade ago, I never thought I would be,
at twenty three, on the verge of spontaneous combustion.
Woe-is-me.
But I guess that it comes with the territory;
an ominous landscape of never ending calamity.
I need you to hear, I need you to see that I have had all I can take and
exploding seems like a definite possibility to me.
So pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.
So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame.
Pardon me, pardon me....I'll never be the same.
Not two days ago, I was having a look in a book
and I saw a picture of a guy fried up above his knees.
I said, I can relate, cause' lately I've been thinking of combustion
as a welcomed vacation from the burdens of the planet earth.
Like gravity, hypocrisy, and the perils of being in 3-D...
but thinking so much differently.
So pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.
So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame.
Pardon me, pardon me....I'll never be the same.
never be the same.....
Pardon me while i burst into flames
Pardon me, pardon me....
So pardon me while I burst into flames.
I've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games.
So pardon me while I burn and rise above the flame.
Pardon me, pardon me....I'll never be the same.
pardon me....I'll never be the same.
And that's it for now...
current mood: indescribable
current music: none right now but I want to hear Incubus
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, October 14th, 2004
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8:57 pm - Finally, the first entry!
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So, here I am, bored with the name Cynthia, not knowing what to name my journal. I was thinking about "Cygnus" like a swan, thinking of the ugly duckling and blah, blah, blah. Then I see "Cynthia" in the dictionary and see the word "Kynthia" in part of the description, which made me do a google search for the word "Kynthia" and in the descriptions of "Kynthia" I see the name "Athena Kynthia," that was it, my journal was named. I love the name Athena, so I just took it.
This is it, my first entry with many more to come. Hopefully, later entries won't be quite as boring.
current mood:  optimistic
current music: None right now
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athena_kynthia's journal